Breakup Recovery Therapy in Chicago

Why Breakups Feel Like A Punch to Your Gut, Quite Literally.

Ever wondered why a breakup feels like you've been hit by a truck? Well, it's not just “all in your head” - there's science behind those gut-wrenching feelings.

1. Your Brain on Heartbreak:
A 2011 study showed that emotional trauma from breakups affects our brain similarly to physical pain. Participants, when shown pictures of their ex-partners, had brain activity in areas associated with physical pain. Interestingly, even Tylenol could reduce this emotional pain!

2. Synchronized Heartbeats, Disrupted Rhythms:
Long-term relationships are more than just shared memories. A 2008 study found that couples actually begin to sync their biological rhythms - from sleep patterns to heart rates. A breakup could mean a jarring dissonance in these rhythms, possibly even weakening your immune system.

3. Love's Withdrawal Symptoms:
The loss of love can mirror drug or alcohol withdrawal. Being “in love” stimulates specific brain areas that don't light up in casual or platonic relationships. With the sudden absence of a partner, the brain misses the "high" it used to get from love, causing a type of emotional withdrawal.

4. The Chemicals of Love:
Falling in love is a cocktail of dopamine (the reward signaler) and oxytocin (the "love hormone"). Over time, your brain expects and adjusts to these chemicals. Post-breakup, it's suddenly starved of them, leading to intense cravings and emotional turbulence.

In short, breakups are hard not just because of the emotional investment, but due to very tangible physiological changes and adaptations that occur when we're in love & then when we lose that love.

So, the next time someone tells you to "just get over it," remember that mending a broken heart involves healing the mind, body AND spirit.

In our work together, we’ll bring you to a place of calm & stabilize your current situation.

As you continue to move through the healing process, you’ll have increased bandwidth & readiness to explore what led to the relationship ending & your next steps — moving forward.

If you’d like the roadmap through this sometimes long and winding road, we’ve got you covered! We’re right here beside your as your emotional GPS, helping you navigate the twists and turns of this sometimes bumpy ride..

REACH OUT!

We’ll guide and support you every step of the way, through your breakup and beyond.

Navigating the Breakup Recovery Process: Your Journey Back to Wholeness

Breakups, regardless of the circumstances, can leave even the strongest of us reeling. The emotional upheaval that follows can leave us overwhelmed & distraught.

But, here’s the thing… in our extensive work with clients navigating a breakup, we've identified five stages that most women will experience. It helps give us a bit of a roadmap as we move along this path.

The 5 stages we’ve seen include:

• The Aftermath

• A Bit of “Analysis Paralysis”

• Adjustment

• Awareness

• Acceptance

And then on to A New Beginning...

1. The Aftermath: This immediate period post-breakup is most often characterized by shock, disbelief, and profound sadness. The reality of what's happened may not have fully sunk in, and the world may feel disorienting & surreal.

2. A Bit of “Analysis Paralysis:” As the reality starts settling in, you might overthink, overanalyze, and replay scenarios in your mind. This stage is often filled with “why’s”, "what ifs" and "if onlys."

3. Adjustment: Slowly, life starts to establish a new rhythm. This stage is about relearning daily life without the presence of your ex and adjusting to the “new normal.”

4. Awareness: As time passes, you'll begin to see the bigger picture. This is a phase of introspection where you'll reflect on the relationship, what you've learned, and how you can grow from it.

5. Acceptance: This is the pivotal point where you start to truly move through and move on. The pain starts fading, replaced by a more grounded understanding and acceptance of what's happened.

Finally, after acceptance, comes the opportunity for a fresh start, a new beginning and the possibility of finding & creating the relationship you want and deserve.

Our primary goal, in the beginning of the healing process, is easing you out of fight/flight/freeze and into creating a place of calm.

As you continue to move through the healing process, you’ll have increased bandwidth & readiness to reflect on & explore what led to the relationship ending & your next steps — for moving forward.

It’s important to note that although the process of healing and recovery tends to follow a common pattern, the specific details can vary greatly from person to person. These stages are a broad generalization and may not apply to everyone, but they can serve as a basic guide.


No matter where you are in your healing process & no matter how long it’s been since your breakup, we’ve got you covered.

REACH OUT!

We’ve literally helped thousands of young & accomplished women, just like you, move through the breakup recovery healing process. Mind, Body & Spirit!!

We help you…
• Reclaim your sense of self, your self-love, self-confidence & self-worth.
• Believe in YOU again & BELIEVE in your capacity for LOVE & meaningful connection.

When you show up for yourself & do the work, you absolutely can call in & create the relationship you’ve been longing for. Promise!

The short answer is that it’s not as straightforward as we'd like.

There's No Universal Timeline.

Truthfully, healing has no set schedule and isn’t a linear path.

Healing from a breakup can take anywhere from a few weeks to several months, or even longer for some of us.

Your timeline depends on various factors like the length of the relationship, how deeply invested you were in the relationship, the circumstances leading up to the breakup and even individual factors like your personal attachment style.

In the healing process, it's completely natural to feel BIG emotions. Your feelings might swing from profound sadness to anger to glimmers of hope. We’ll support you in embracing these emotions; and learning how to “be with them.” Whether that means having a cathartic cry, rallying your squad, journaling your feelings, or seeking professional support & guidance - we encourage you to do what feels right for you.

Allow yourself to the space to process and when the time feels right for you, REACH OUT!

Helping women heal from Breakup & Divorce is one of our specialties!!

Most importantly, remember that healing is not a linear process. Some days you'll feel like you're making progress and other days you might find yourself in complete discomfort again. It's okay! Just keep reminding yourself that the discomfort is temporary and it's all part of the healing process.

Rest assured, if you show up for yourself, invest in doing the work and give yourself the time & space YOU need to heal, you can actually transform this situation into a completely new beginning — with the promise of finding & creating the relationship/partnership you’ve been longing for.

Reach out & begin your healing journey today!

We’ll be honored to join you on this portion of your journey.

At Chicago Modern Therapy, our approach to healing emphasizes MOVING THROUGH the breakup & subsequent grieving process vs. simply “getting over it.”

Amidst the whirlwind of emotions, it's easy to lose oneself in the spiral of self-blame, second-guessing, and endless 'what ifs'.

Why Break-up Recovery Counseling?

While surrounding yourself with your squad & supportive friends is crucial (and therapeutic in its own right), Breakup Recovery Counseling offers a dedicated, non-judgmental space just for you. The therapy session offers a sacred space where you can freely unpack your feelings and navigate your unique healing journey, regardless of how recent or distant your break-up might be.

Here’s How We Guide You:

Healing First: Your well-being is our top priority. We'll hold space for your emotions & identify the anchors that will help ground & soothe you.

Understanding the Relationship Dynamics: Together, we'll delve deep, exploring what led to the breakup, recognizing the strengths you brought, and identifying your areas of growth.

Self-Discovery and Growth:
-Discover your inherent potential for cultivating healthy relationships.
-Decode your Attachment Style & delve into your Love Languages & Personality Style.
-Master the art of nurturing your connections.
-Reflect on the “gifts” of the relationship & the break-up itself. It might seem odd now, but this acknowledgement is pivotal to your healing journey.
-Recognize & acknowledge your worth and ultimately transition from that "hot-mess" feeling… back to embracing your genuine & innate "HOTNESS” - feeling like yourself again.
-Equip yourself with tools to transform the pain into a stepping stone for your future self. Easier said than done, for sure!!! But, completely possible with support and perseverance. Resilience is in your DNA!!

Why Trust Us?

We're not just counselors; we're break-up recovery specialists. Over the years, we've guided thousands of women, helping them through their unique healing process. We help you heal the heartbreak, tap into your intuition, reconnect with your authentic self and reclaim love on your terms.

Your Next Chapter Awaits:

Believe in the possibilities of tomorrow. With determination and our guidance, not only can you heal, but you can also find and foster one of the most profound relationships of your life.

Ready to embark on this transformative journey?

REACH OUT and begin your new chapter today!

We’ve got you! We look forward to hearing from you and will be honored to join you on this portion of your path!

Let’s face it. Breakups are tough!

And… we’re here to help you move through it.

We’ll be here with you for as long as you invite us to accompany you on this portion of your journey.

Know that it's totally natural to feel sad, confused, angry or hurt, right now. Breakups have a way of careening us into super vulnerable territory.

We “feel, then heal.” Right??!

In time, with support, reflection, and understanding, you'll emerge from this chapter of your journey not only stronger, but with a deeper self-awareness and clarity around your next steps.

Profound healing encompasses the intricate interplay of heart, mind, and soul. By focusing on this tried & true trifecta, you'll find genuine peace and clarity.

To jumpstart the process, we’ve created a mini self-care guide to get you started:

THE SELF-CARE SOLUTION: A MINI-GUIDE TO HEART-CENTERED HEALING, POST-BREAKUP

Self-Love First: Breakups can challenge our self-worth. So we encourage you to start each day by tuning in, valuing yourself, and embracing your worth. Remember, the love and care you inherently deserve is always within and around you. Sometimes we just have to look for it, or give it to ourselves. Simply incorporating a morning affirmation, like "I love you, [Your Name]," can be a game-changer in transforming your mindset and shaping your day. Be super kind and gentle with yourself. Self-compassion is so important.

Routine it up! Structure is key: Post-breakup, life can feel a bit unsteady. Establishing a routine “sans ex” adds structure, anchoring you to a new sense of normal. Start your day with a soothing Morning Matcha, a revitalizing workout, and step out in a killer “feel good” outfit that boosts your confidence to start your day.

Find Your Zen — Mindfulness & Meditation: Cultivating calm is essential. Roll out your yoga mat and infuse your surroundings with soothing scents like lavender, rose, or Palo Santo for a holistic reset. Create a haven that helps melt stress and brings you peace. MINDFULNESS is about being anchored in the present — leaving the past in the past and not anticipating the future just yet. Embrace the safety of “right here, right now." You can try on this mantra, “In THIS moment, I am safe.”
FOR MEDITATION: check out the INSIGHT TIMER app at InsightTimer.com. With thousands of meditations at your fingertips (covering topics from anxiety, to sleep, to heartbreak), it's your go-to for in-the-moment emotional grounding. Find the vibe and the voice that works best for you and then DO IT! Our clients love this app!! And for the record, we do, too!

Feel Your Feelings: Breakups unleash a whirlwind of feelings, from sadness and anger to confusion. Acknowledge your feelings, without judgment. Give them space. Recognizing and accepting them paves the way for genuine healing. Notice where you are feeling discomfort in your body. Bring your hand there and direct your breath there. Envision bringing your breath into that space and soothing the hurt. On your exhale, practice releasing the discomfort.

Move Your Body & Sweat It Out: MOVEMENT is crucial. It's a natural mood booster & can help you regain your confidence. Here's how you can infuse movement into your day:

Quick Fixes: Start with a gym session, Zumba, or spin class to release those feel-good endorphins.

Scenic Options: Opt for a nature run, cycling around town, or a reflective walk. Think of these as forms of movement like a moving meditation.

Dive into Fun: Explore dance classes, HIIT workouts, or try Stand Up Paddle boarding.

Yoga for the Soul: Yoga’s emphasis on breath and alignment makes yoga a powerful tool for heart-centered self-care.

Consistency is Key: Find what resonates and stick to it. Make it part of your every day structure and routine! Movement does a body good!

Practice Radical Gratitude: This isn’t about minimizing or dismissing your loss. This is about reconnecting to the other VERY REAL parts of yourself and your life WHILE you tend to your grief. Just as an exercise in “practicing gratitude” try these two things as you move through your process…

1. Every day, jot down three things you appreciate… It can be as simple as the warmth of the sun, an encouraging word from someone or that new perfect MANI-PEDI you’re rockin’. Think BIG THINGS or the smallest of things.

   Gratitude is a powerful shift from focusing on “lack” or what’s “wrong” in our lives to acknowledging, shining a light on AND celebrating what’s going well. (As a side note, practicing gratitude also helps us identify that we have some say and control in what we choose to shine a light on. This is key when big parts of life are feeling OUT of our control.)

2. Make a list of the things that light you up & then give those “delights” to yourself… DAILY. Think: your favorite oatmilk latte, fresh flowers, launching your SUP at North Ave. Beach, that farmers’ market you love, or even your fave neighborhood TACOS.

Practicing gratitude & giving yourself experiences that light you up can be game-changers in the healing process. These 2 practices can help you in reclaiming your spirit & your joy, while identifying what IS in your control.

Nourish Your Body: Appetite fluctuations post-breakup are common. If solid foods feel daunting, opt for nourishing smoothies or shakes, initially. As your appetite returns, gravitate towards mood-boosting foods. Again, THINK FARMERS’ MARKET: fresh berries, leafy greens, wholesome veggies, and lean or plant-based proteins. Remember, these foods act as brain boosters, enhancing both mood and energy. BRAIN FOOD helps with mood.

Cultivate & Nurture Your Interests: Channeling emotions into creative outlets offers both release and a rewarding sense of accomplishment. From learning a new language, planning that getaway to Portugal, mastering pottery, or gearing up for a marathon — redirect your energies and find your flow again.

Connect with Your Crew: Reach out to your squad, your besties, your tribe. Whether you're up for sharing your feelings or just want company, just being in their presence can be healing. Remember, you're not in this alone. Lean on your friends and soak in their juicy support. Rally your squad & let them love on you!

Spend Time in Nature: Whether it's a quick walk in the park during lunch or a weekend Divvy ride along the lake, spending time outdoors can have a calming effect on your mind and body. Nature has a subtle, yet profound, way of grounding us.

Feel free to add to this list!! Every woman’s healing journey is unique and sacred!!! There’s no ONE WAY to heal.

If you’d like expert guidance and support in navigating your breakup and your unique healing process…

REACH OUT TO US!

We’d be honored to help you move through this process.

Over the past 20+ years, we've guided thousands of women, helping them heal the heartbreak, to discover their resilient selves and reclaim love on their terms.

BELIEVE in the power of your resilience. With your perseverance and our guidance, not only can you heal, but you can also find and foster one of the most profound relationships of your life.

IF YOU WANT TO GET STARTED, the best place to start is your relationship with yourself!! That’s what is in your control.

REACH OUT! LET’S TALK!

We look forward to hearing from you and would be honored to guide and support you on this part of your journey and beyond!

From Reflection to Resilience: Understanding your relationship journey and what, ultimately, shifted.

Breakups can shake our world & our confidence, but this is not where your story ends. Know that you're not alone on this path and you get to rewrite your narrative. We're here to guide and support you, helping you navigate your way to deeper understanding and greater clarity on what you want & your next steps.

Here's a snapshot of our approach in exploring the “How & What of your breakup”:

Reflection: A big part of the healing process, post-breakup, involves reflecting on what happened and learning about ourselves through this process. Together, we'll explore how the shared journey with your “ex” unfolded and it’s overall impact on you. This helps in understanding where and how things shifted.

Discovery: Every shared journey has its nuances, right?! Relationships are no exception. We'll work together to uncover the deeper dynamics, potentially highlighting patterns or circumstances you may not have noticed before. This phase is centered around gaining deeper understanding and insight. By understanding the deeper dynamics and the choices both you & your ex made along the way, we can get a clearer picture of what led to you parting ways and now, what you want moving forward.

Moving Forward: Equipped with insights from your past relationship, you'll gain a clearer vision of what you want in your future connections. Whether it's fostering better communication, nurturing trust, or setting firm, yet loving, boundaries, we'll co-create a blueprint for your next relationship chapter. Understanding the past often leads to a more enriching future connection.

Throughout this journey, your well-being is our North Star. We'll move at a pace that feels right for you, ensuring that your healing and comfort remain central to our work.

Our clients tell us we’re like personal trainers, but for your emotions & your mind. Check out our TESTIMONIALS for more on this!

If our approach sounds like a good fit for you, feel free to REACH OUT!

We so look forward to hearing from you and would be honored to join you on this portion of your path.

Let’s face it… Break-ups can throw us way off kilter & careen us into the unwanted unknown. The thought of “starting over” or being alone “forever,” loom large and take up way too much space. Those types of thought are absolutely fear talking and we’re going to help shift all of that.

What if, together, we flip the script and look at this from a completely different angle?

What if we start to reframe this is an opportunity to reflect & recaibrate?

This experience can actually be a way to find your way back to YOU, your values & what actually works for you!

Granted, moving through the breakup is a challenging journey. But, within this challenge lies an opportunity for deep self-healing, elevated self-growth and expanded self-discovery.

Why trust us?? We get that moving through a breakup is so much easier said than done. And this is exactly where we come in! At Chicago Modern Therapy, this work is not only one of our specialties, it’s our superpower!

We’ve guided thousands of women, just like you, on the journey back to themselves and helped them lay the foundation for finding THEIR person and creating the relationship they wanted and deserved!!! YOU CAN, TOO!

Here are some examples of areas we typically explore in our work together.

POTENTIAL GOALS OF BREAKUP RECOVERY COUNSELING:
1. Establishing Equilibrium: After a break-up, your world can seem to spin uncontrollably. This initial step is about grounding. Whether it's through connecting with friends & family, physical activity, or restorative experiences like meditation, yoga, energy work or massage… the aim is to stabilize your emotional state.

2. Personal Reflection: Taking this time for introspection is essential. It allows you to delve into your aspirations, recognize your strengths, understand your vulnerabilities, and reaffirm your core values, setting the stage for healing and ongoing personal growth.

3. Unpacking what shifted in the relationship: It’s essential to process the events leading to the break-up. We steer clear of blame & finger pointing and focus on understanding what unfolded and how this can help inform you as you move through your healing process.

4. Unpacking Relationship Dynamics: Relationships are intricate dances of emotions and actions. Right?! Assessing what felt right and what was amiss can give you a clearer picture of your true relationship desires and boundaries and they type of dynamic that will actually work for you. Were there communication gaps? Breaches of trust? Unresolved conflicts? Did you lose yourself or give more than you received? Recognizing the patterns that came into play in your previous relationship can be enlightening and liberating. This can bring such clarity on what & who to seek out in potential relationships and what & who to avoid in the future.

5. Deciphering Your Love DNA: Concepts like Love Languages, Attachment Styles, and Personality Types aren't just buzzwords. They offer genuine insights into how we connect with others. By understanding your “Love DNA,” you'll be better positioned for future relationship compatibility.

6. Gleaning the Positives/Gifts in Disguise: Every relationship, even those that end, offer valuable lessons.

What skills did you acquire?

How have you grown emotionally, mentally or even spiritually?

What didn’t work? What did?

What DON’T you want? What DO you want?

Identifying and appreciating these unintended “gifts” can help transform the pain into purpose.

7. Preparing for Next Steps: Throughout the healing process you’re empowering yourself with knowledge and self-awareness. You reflect on the patterns you want to avoid and the qualities you want to nurture and enhance. By proactively gathering information & insights we’ll work together to create a blueprint for what you want, laying the foundation for healthier relationships as you confidently continue to progress forward.

8. Reclaiming Your Inner “Hot-ness:” After a breakup, it's easy to lose sight of your unique brilliance amidst the chaos. We’re all about moving through the "hot-mess" phase to reconnecting you with your innate & GENUINE “Hot-ness” — the amazing qualities that make you, YOU. Our mission is to guide you back to your vibrant self, celebrating your individuality and reigniting passions that define you and light you up. Together, we'll transform the tumult into a journey of self-discovery, helping you re-establish confidence & trust in yourself! It's about getting back to a place where you feel strong in your decisions, your purpose & your path.

9. Dipping Your Toes Back In & Trusting The Process: Here’s a little secret nugget… embracing & embodying your authentic self, unapologetically, can ultimately be the turning point and a top tier, on point, SOLID safeguard in attracting your person.

The partner who accepts ALL OF YOU, just as you are, is out there.

…And they’re looking for YOU.


This journey is challenging, no doubt! But with introspection, guidance, and a commitment to personal growth, your next chapter can be even better and more enriching than you could ever imagine.

Let’s rewrite the narrative!

Ready to get started? REACH OUT!

Start this journey of rediscovery and healing. We’d be honored to join you on this portion of your journey!!

And in case you’re curious what our clients have to say about working with us… Check out a few testimonials, HERE.

Depending on where you are in your healing journey, this question may or may not resonate with you:

What if the breakup is actually the wake up?

Here’s the thing… initially, it’s often challenging to experience the breakup as anything but painful. Totally understandable, Right??! We only feel the loss. We SOOOOO get it. We’ve been right here, too. And we know it’s totally natural to feel this way. This is a complete & unexpected gear shift. You were planning on a completely different trajectory!!!

But what if, in time, instead of viewing the breakup as an ending, we begin to re-frame it and start viewing it as an opportunity for a completely new beginning. If we slowly begin to put our focus and shine the light on what is now possible we begin to put our energy into the next chapter.

A new chapter is also an uncharted path. This can sound completely scary OR it can sound completely scary AND exciting at the same time!!

What if, in time, you begin to experience the space created by the breakup as an opportunity to create a new foundation for what you actually want to build… a sustainable & meaningful connection with a partner who wants what YOU want and accepts and LOVES all of you, just as you are.

This new beginning is an opportunity for self-realization and a chance for reflection. It’s an invitation to realign your life with your individual goals, values, and passions and then find the person that embraces & accepts ALL OF YOU.

A breakup ultimately brings the possibility of transformation, and an opportunity to redefine & rewrite your life narrative.

This time allows for you to focus on YOU and what actually works for you!

By embodying your aligned and authentic self, you’ll be so clear & dialed in on your vision for your life and your desired relationship that you’ll be a magnetic force!! :)

Curious?

Ready to get started?

REACH OUT! Request an appointment!

We look forward to connecting and would be honored to join you on this portion of your path!!